Guardians Of Uncool
by Kriftonucci
Summary: This is what happens when during an epic war, a crackfic and a plot are evenly matched. Until the crackfic has some tricks up its sleeves!


Guardians Of Uncool

Guardians Of Uncool

By Dead Promises

--

It was yet but all so whatever a peaceful time at the great tree located in Sea Of Hoolomere where our heroes were attempting to figure out their current plans to… whatever it was that was their task at hand.

"We must go to the beaks!" Claimed Soren, as he was currently conversing towards serious matters with Twilight.

"Only there will fellow eagle owls Streak and Zan will inform us all possible about the lunar eclipse stone"

Twilight looked up for a bit before he replied.

"Okay, but can you please explain to me what exactly is it about this whole lunar eclipse stone that makes us seem to find so important?"

"Oh, it's quite an elongated yet simple story, you see" Soren retaliated before beginning to explain to Twilight his story

"Centuries ago, this clan of dragon owls set up a building with a temple-like structure that which could keep hostage the magic within-

45 minutes later…

That so-called light, once it penetrates the figure, will shine upon the stone, that's why we must travel to the beaks and return it here! Is this clearer now?"

Twilight simply remained with his eyes open for an estimated two seconds before he gave an uproarious reply.

"Um, no not really"

Soren's eyes widened as well.

"WHAT?! But I just explained everything in full-detail!" Soren exclaimed.

"Yes, but you said "45 minutes later" in the middle of your explanation, which made as much sense as preaching to crows!" Twilight reclaimed.

"I did? Dang it! Is Dead Promises too lazy to write, or does he just find amusement in watching us break the fourth wall every time this happens?" Soren asked half irritated than he looked.

"Don't sweat it, how's about we take a break at McDuncan's?" Twilight suggested.

"Sure, why not?" Replied Soren as he and Twilight flew out of the hollow to head towards the restaurant in the beyond the beyond.

(Meanwhile, In the Pure one's Hideout)

"Seriously, Nyra, I know what it is that I want to say. But I don't know how exactly to release it" Said Kludd, about to enter into the center of a meeting being held in a stadium.

"Don't stress yourself, dear! Remember that you are high in command, and that no one else will take your throne away. Just never forget: You are merciless and over powerful!" Replied Nyra.

From that second, Kludd's facial expression changed rapidly enough to presume determination.

"You know what, Nyra? You're right! It's time I take this party downstairs!" Kludd said with more emphasis in his resolve.

As soon as he knew what to do, he went out into the stadium, and took hold of a microphone.

"Oh, I KNOW!" Said Kludd nearly enthusiastically as he took out a marker and drew a triangle-like mustache on his beak.

"What in Hags mire's throne is he doing?" Asked Wortmore, who was in the second row.

At that second, Kludd cleared his throat, and afterwards began speaking with all the strength in his voice:

"Mein Gefährte die reine! die Zeit der Reinigung ist an unseren Flügeln. Wir müssen stark sein, wenn wir während unseres heiligen mision folgen müssen. Sobald wir beendet werden, wird jede Eule im Norden und im Südkönigreich gnadenlos der Größe bewußt, die unser pureness überläuft, denn wir sind vortreffliche Lehren! Auf in Richtung zu Sieg die reine!"

Once Kludd, finished, he didn't expect to see a wide overshadow of confused faces.

It stood that way for about ten seconds, until he said something more before slapping his face in disapproval.

"You all don't know German, do you".

Every owl on the stadium, including Nyra shakes their head.

All except one owl that stands up.

"I know German and twenty other different languages, if you'd like I'd be more than happy to translate every word you-"

"SILENCE!" Kludd interrupted.

"But sir, I was just saying-"

"You think I give a rat's tokens?! Sit down or no Nintendo Wii for you!!" Kludd exclaimed once more.

The owl sat down and didn't speak another word.

This gave Kludd more of an advantage, to be able to continue.

"Anyhow, does every one of you agree with me or do you all plan to have hesitation rule over your putridly frail minds as well?" Kludd asked.

Every owl remained in silence for five more seconds.

"Let me rephrase that then: Do you want a game console or a mandatory five year subscription to "Gaybird" Magazine?" Kludd said.

The entire crowd cheered.

(Back with the band)

"Hey, Gylfie, have you seen Twilight and Soren?" Asked Digger.

"It appears as though they have gone to McDuncan's to buy some grub" Gylfie replied.

"Oh, sounds cool. By the way, why do you look so tense?" Digger asked, finally aware of Gylfie's odd as hell persona.

"I've been drinking a lot of coffee to keep me awake during the day" She replied.

Digger blinked.

"Really? Why'd you do that?" Digger asked.

Gylfie gave a slightly immense sigh before replying.

"It's all these nightmares about the horrors of St. Agolious Academy for MAMA LUIGI, they've been taking away my good night sleep! And I don't even know what the hagsmoker to do!" Gylfie exclaimed.

Digger walked closer to her.

"Get a grip, come on! It's not like there are less scary things out there in the real world!"

Gylfie's eyes definitely widen as of that moment.

"Are you yoicks?! What could possibly be more irritatingly annoying than what I had to endure back in St. Aggie's?!"

Digger merely blinked before replying.

"Um, the fact that they are going to make a CGI film adaptation of the first three books of our series?"

Gylfie's eyes widened to a much larger extent as of that moment before she said something in return.

"Well, that's just one thing! What else can you dish out, huh?"

Digger blinked yet quickly answered her question.

"The fact that Dead Promises once more broke the fourth wall after writing this racdroppy script mentioning about the film!"

Gylfie twitched a bit.

"You know what? I think I'm going to go to sleep now! I'm cured thank Glaux!"

In which Gylfie happily flew to her hollow and slept for ten hours.

(Meanwhile, back with Soren and Twilight whom I previously mentioned that they had gone to some sort of restaurant that which they were going to go to avoid my annoying fun…Ain't I a stinker? XD)

"Here we are, so what is it that you'd like, Soren?" Asked Twilight, waiting in response, for Soren.

"Actually, I'll pass, especially no that I recall the incident to when I went to that sub-sandwich stand"

(Flashback)

"I'd like a foot long, please" Asked Soren, who was talking to the owl that made and sold the subs.

"Come to my place at eight PM and I'll give ya a foot long ALL NIGHT LONG" Replied the sandwich monger very seductively while winking.

Soren backed up in panic.

"WHOA! Sir, I just wanted a sandwich!" Soren cleared out.

In which the sandwich monger's face distorts to serious.

"OOOOOoooooh" Replied the sandwich monger.

A four second pause.

"If you want a SANDWICH my co-worker can join us, he comes out at seven PM"

(Flashback over)

"Oh yeah! Well don't bother worrying your nuts of, Soren! I'll ask the guy for you!" Twilight replied.

With that stated, Twilight walked over to the owl that sold the sandwiches and asked away.

"Hi there, I'd like a milk berry pie, please"

In which the owl, instead of replying does something rather peculiar by handing Twilight a gun and a map.

"Um, I said a milk berry pie, hello?" Twilight asked.

"OH! I thought you said you wanted to "kill Barry white"" Replied the owl.

Twilight remained silent for twenty seconds, and then spoke.

"This is getting out of wing, lets end this story before something weirder happens"

"Like what?" Soren asked.

"THAT'S MAMA LUIGI TO YOU, MARIO!!" Said a human plumber, out of the blue.

"Oh, you're right!" Soren replied.

I am sorry that I had to disappoint you people.

But I really needed to get this out of my noggin

Asta la GO AWAY!!


End file.
